I need help! My name is Brad, and I am a failure with women. I don’t know how to pick them up, how to get dates, and my only sexual exeperiences were not great because I was so nervous. I am great talking to people at work, or to neighbors or friends, but if I am talking to a woman who I find attractive, I can’t think of anything to say. What I do say is a disaster, and otherwise I can’t seem to talk at all.
I’ve tried answering personal ads, but the problem is the same there. I don’t know what to say, or what is expected of me in order to be the man the women are looking for. My mind seems to freeze up the minute communication is expected.
I’m not the “tall, dark and handsome” guy. I’m not rich. I don’t have a 12 inch penis. I am a sort of normal guy, 5’10” tall, with a normal Office job and a normal penis. I don’t drive a flashy sports car or a hummer or a mercedes. On the other hand, I do have a college degree, I’m not ugly, and I think I have a great sense of humor without being overbearing or annoying.
I love to kiss and I am gentle and love to give massages and hold hands. I’d love to date, and even find a steady girlfriend. I think I have some qualities that the right woman would find appealing. But how do I go about talking to women?
Dear Brad –
Sounds like you just need a little confidence. Your description of yourself makes you sound like the man a LOT of women out there are looking for. More women find a sense of humor more important in a man than any other quality. That doesn’t mean she expects you to be a stand-up comic. It means that if something is funny, you would smile or laugh, and you would see the humor in every day things, and comment on it.
Lots of women don’t care for “tall, dark and handsome”. Every woman has her own physical type
that she prefers. Some women like blonds, some brunettes, some shaved heads. Some like men
5′ 8″ and some like men who are 6′ 5″. And an awful lot of women don’t even think of how much
money the man she is seeing makes. I know men won’t believe it, but it’s true.
More women would like to meet a nice man with a gentle touch than a man with a mercedes. One of women’s most common complaints about sex is that they wish that men were more gentle. I know that I prefer a man who can touch me softly, rather than grab whatever part he has hold of.
It is men that feel that an enormous penis is an asset. Most women are perfectly happy with a man with an average-sized cock. A lot of women are even intimidated by extremely large penises, afraid that they will hurt, which they sometimes do.
Which leads us to how to talk to a woman – just like you would talk to anyone else. Women are people, you know. So when you meet a woman that you are attracted to, talk to her like you would talk to anyone else. Don’t try pickup lines or comment on her looks first thing. There is no turnoff like a guy that walks up to you in the store and says “Hey, you’re a hot-looking chick”. It sounds as much like a cheap pickup line as it is.
After you have talked with a woman for a while, if the chemistry is right, invite her for coffee or ask for her phone number – but NEVER push. Not everyone is attracted to everyone. Just be yourself and allow the women you meet to be themselves, and you will find relationships.
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