My name’s Ed. I am 5′ 11″, 180 athletic pounds. I have all my hair, I look good, and I date a lot.
I love sex, and women mostly seem to enjoy sharing it with me. There is nothing as good as seeing a woman‘s face while you’re fucking her.
My problem is that I reach orgasm too fast. I rarely last more than twenty minutes after actual inter- course begins, yet I read about guys who can go all night. I feel embarrassed when I cum in less than half an hour, which I always do. But I can’t seem to help myself – it feels so good, and the women are so sexy to me.
I have read in men’s magazines that I could think about baseball scores or income tax or something not very pleasant in order to keep from reaching orgasm. The problem I see with this method is that I feel that it would take away some of the natural pleasure from sharing sex with a partner. Taking the pleasure out of sex doesn’t seem like a very good solution to me.
Also I know there are numbing creams that can be applied to my penis, but I feel the same way about using them. Anything that takes the pleasure out of sex is not a good thing to do while having sex.
So where does all this leave me? Feeling that I orgasm too quickly for my partners, that I do not stack up to other guys who can fuck for hours or a whole evening. I’d like to feel that I am a good lover, and I can’t feel that way while I feel that I last so much less time than other men can.
So what do you suggest, Nina?
Dear Ed –
It sounds like you are missing a lot of pleasure by simply worrying about this so much, and it is too bad.
You have either been listening to men bragging or watching porno movies. The average guy lasts
less than twenty minutes, and in most cases, women find twenty minutes just about right. It’s a long enough time that they can enjoy it and orgasm, and not so long a period of time that you leave your women sore and uncomfortable.
I agree with you – I think that thinking about unpleasant things during intercourse might make it last longer, but it would be MUCH less rewarding emotionally and physically. It just doesn’t make sense to do any of these things.
If you would like to feel your encounters last longer, you might consider more foreplay. I’m sure that your partners won’t mind – in fact, I’m sure that they’ll be thrilled to find a guy who plays with them for a longer amount of time. Most women feel that they do not get enough foreplay, and they express disappointment about this. So by lengthening the time you put into fondling, fingering and licking, you will make sex take longer overall, and you will satisfy your partners better.
You have a problem shared with too many men – you think of sex as a performance. As a performance, your activities can be measured against other men. But sex should be about the two people sharing their bodies with each other, not about a bunch of guys bragging at the bar or the gym. How long you last and how active you are isn’t what will give your women the most pleasure.
And isn’t giving and receiving pleasure what sex is all about?
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