Dear Nina –
I’m Pamela. I’m 25, and love life, men and sex! I have this crazy cute boyfriend – he’s 26. His name is Doug. We have a great sex life, we do all sorts of crazy stuff, and it’s a lot of fun. We’re never bored with each other, and can fuck all night long. One thing, though is that hee says he’d like me to talk dirty to him sometimes.
He says it would be especially exciting to him during intercourse or when we’re first messing around, getting each other hot and bothered.
Which words should I use? Are some more of a turn on, and some more of a turn off? Do I say the words dick, cock, penis? Should I say pussy or cunt? How do I know? Should I tell him what I like, or ask him questions? I’m lost here *lol*. Are there things that most guys like to hear?
I’m not sure what he wants me to say. I really like it when he talks to me – he always knows just
what I want to hear. And it does turn me on more, so I can see why he’d like it. The problem is that I feel silly, and I don’t really know what to say. I feel naturally quiet during sex. But I’m more than willing to give it a try – maybe I’ll like it. I just need a little help getting started.
Thanks so much,
Dear Pamela –
I think it’s great that you’re willing to try something your boyfriend asks, even though you’re uncertain.
Trying new things is what can keep a relationship fun, exciting and fresh.
Most men, and a lot of women, like to be talked to during and before sex. It heightens the pleasure to stimulate another sense (in this case, hearing) and to stimulate the mind can take sex to an entirely new place.
Although everyone is different, there are some ways to make it easier for you to talk to your partner. For one thing, try observing out loud. If his cock is getting harder, observe it – “Your cock is so hard”. Does your boyfriend look good to you? Is there a favorite body part you like to look at? Tell him so.
“I love your chest” or whatever it is.
Another thing most men like to hear is you telling them either what you are going to do to them or
telling them what you like about what they’re doing to you. You can also try telling him what you like, or just let him know in words when he does something that feels especially good “That feels so good”.
As far as the actual words you use go, a lot of women are uncomfortable with words like cunt and dick, so use words that come to you naturally. Where one woman might say “Fuck my wet pussy with your hard dick“, another might feel silly saying this. She might say “I want to feel you inside me”.
Notice that both describe the same thing, but in totally different terms. The more comfortable the
words you choose, the more comfortable you will be talking to your boyfriend.
If you’re naturally shy, you might consider thinking up a few things to say in advance. Sure, it may not be as spontaneous, but it might keep you from getting stage fright. Best to think about which things you do together regularly, or what about him turns you on the most. That way it will be easy for you to think up several different things to say in advance.
And never overlook a few moaned comments at the right time like “Oh, yeah” or “don’t stop” or
“do that some more” or even “I’m cumming”. Many men say out loud that they are going to cum
during sex, but not many women do for some reason.
The bottom line is that if you can turn your boyfriend on and feel good about doing it, you’re both going to have a lot of fun!
Note : You can ask your questions at our forum!