Dear Nina –
I have something I’d like to ask. I’m a 28 year old male, pretty good looking, and I’ve had my share of women, and experimented a lot. My present girlfriend says she loves when someone uses his fingers to get her off, but most of my experience was that fingering a woman leads to other things.
My girlfriend says she gets off the best when a guy really knows how to use both his hands on her.
Most of my experience has been eating pussy and fucking, and I love doing both to her. My girlfriend likes getting eaten, and she loves to fuck, but she says for her it’s best when a guy gets her off with his hands and fingers, not with his tongue or dick.
So far, I don’t think I’ve really impressed her, although it’s amazing how wild and horny she gets when I start. She really loves it. I have rarely seen a woman so stimulated and passionate as she gets when I start playing with her clit and fingerbanging her. It turns me on to watch her, and I know it could be even better!
I feel sort of silly asking her what exactly I should do to her, but I’d like to make her really remember our sex as the best if possible. So please give me some tips here. How can I finger a woman so that she goes totally crazy, and cums uncontrollably?
Thanks a lot,
A lot of women love to get fingered although many prefer getting their pussies licked to being masturbated. But there’s nothing like a guy who’s good with his hands, I always say 😉 So here goes…
First off, make sure your hands are clean before playing with your girlfriend. And make sure you have a nice slippery lubricant nearby, with an easy to open top. If you rub a girl’s clit without lube, you may cause her more pain than pleasure.
When she starts getting in the mood, take one or two fingers and very gently stoke the skin over
her clit. Then stroke her lips back toward her anus, but don’t go quite that far back. Stroke back
to her clit again. Try this a few times to get things started. Kiss her while you’re doing this. Also
try gently pinching her nipples with your other hand.
After a couple minutes, pour lube on your fingers – and pour more over her clit and her opening. Try not to worry about spilling a little. Gently push one finger inside her pussy. Pull it almost all the way out, and move your finger in a circular motion, pushing her lips gently apart. With your other hand’s fingers, begin gently stroking the hood of her clit in tiny circles.
Now add a second finger inside her pussy, and push them inside her further. Wiggle them around, sort of back and forth, while moving them in and out of her. If you’re a man who can concentrate on several things at once, try sucking her nipples while you do this. But that is sort of secondary.
Keep finger-fucking her while you move your fingers inside her. Never spread your fingers further apart than her vagina can comfortably accomodate.
If her clit is hard, it’s time to – with lots of lubrication – play with it directly. You can alternate tiny
circular motions with fast short up and down movements of your fingers. Watch her and listen to
her. You may be able to tell which she likes better. Or maybe she’ll like both. Some men use one finger on their partner’s clit, some use two. See which works best for you.
The mistake most men make is that they stop, thinking they’re teasing her. Don’t stop. All you’ll
do is ruin the mood.
If you have a dildo, one you know she likes, you can insert it inside her while you keep making tiny circles or back and forth motions over her clit. Some women prefer your fingers inside, though, because of the way your fingers can move apart and together while moving in and out. Also it is more intimate with your fingers inside of her, so be sure and find out which she prefers – but not in the heat of passion.
As things get more heated up, she will want you to move your fingers faster and faster over her clit.
Be sure to touch it gently even when you speed up – there are a LOT of nerve endings in the clitoris, and it doesn’t require much touch to stimulate it.
By the time she is almost ready to cum, you will be moving your finger(s) rapidly on her clit. Do not start fucking her too hard with your fingers or dildo – you can take concentration away from the clit.
Just concentrate on that little bud – you can experiment with the fingers inside her, feeling your way inside her or just pushing in and out or making a tickling motion. But keep your rapid gentle motion and soon she will be cumming on your fingers. Don’t stop till she’s done. Some women are very sensitive right after and may push at your hand to move it away. But some are ready for you to keep going right after.
After a woman comes like this, her clit is very hard. This is a perfect time to fuck her – her clit
standing out from its hood makes this the best time for her to cum while fucking.
Note : You can ask your questions at our forum!