The MatchMaker Bandits – The Great Estate Robbery

Author: Maximillian Excaliber

The Great Estate Robbery
By Maximillian Excaliber


Herbert H. Williams III had died. People die all the time. There’s nothing unusual about it. After all, he was seventy-eight years old. He had lived a full life. It happens to everyone sooner or later. They’re born; they live; they die; they are mourned and eventually, in time, they are forgotten.

But Herbert H. Williams III was unique, not because he had been quite wealthy. No, he was unique because he had a fascination with eroticism that went well beyond the norm.

It seems that Herbert H. Williams III had accumulated during his life not only a quite valuable Collection of erotic art; but, the world’s largest assortment of erotic furniture and other kinky mechanical devices, the kinds specifically designed for use during sex.

Having no legal heirs, his will had instructed that his estate was to be auctioned off and the proceeds donated to his favorite charity, The Society For The Preservation And Advancement Of Plural Marriage. It seems that Herbert H. Williams III also had had three wives at one time, all living with him in mutual if not legal marital bliss until they also; one by one had preceded him into the great hereafter.

And so that brings me to my story.

Chapter One – “Dear Paul”

I met Gerri about four years ago. We were both working for the US Census at the time. We started talking and hit it off immediately. We were becoming quite close and I was beginning to think that we would end up together when I met her sister Marie. Maybe met isn’t the best word for it. Perhaps hit-and-run is a better way of putting it. She hit, then ran. But I am getting ahead of myself.

When I was introduced to Marie she had just gotten divorced from her ex-husband Richard. As Marie had no place to go, Gerri let Marie move in with her until she could find an apartment of her own.

Marie was pretty down about the divorce so Gerri and I decided to take her clubbing to help show her what she had regained with her newfound freedom.

We had hit three bars and it was getting late when Gerri suggested we call it a night. She said that we were all pretty wasted and that she had to open the gallery the next day.

In hindsight, Gerri was the only one of us that had any sense at the time.

Anyway, Marie response was to say to Gerri, “I’m a big girl now Mommy and I going to go party some more.” Then she turned to me and asked, “What about it? Feel like partying some more?.”

As I was already pretty loaded when I said, “Sure, what else does an aspiring alcoholic do?” At that point, Gerri went home.

We hit a few more clubs together and as they were closing, Marie suggested we get a bottle from the local package store before it closed and drank in private.

By that time, I was too drunk to say no; so, we went to my apartment with a bottle of something 190 proof and tried to drink each under other the table.

When I woke up the next day I had a massive hangover and Marie was lying naked next to me on my bed. I couldn’t even remember what had happened the night before. To make matters worse, for some reason I had this strange feeling as if I had betrayed Gerri.

What you have to understand is that back then I was young, stupid and drank like a fish every chance I could get so black outs were not new to me.

Anyway, I hadn’t heard from Marie for five weeks when I got a call from her out of the blue. She told me she was pregnant and that she wanted to keep it.

And so, I did the noble thing and we got married.

She had a baby boy and we named him Randy after her father.

I tried to settle down deciding to play with the cards fate had dealt me. I tried to be a good father and husband but things weren’t working out between us; that kind of thing happens when there is no love between two people.

We had been married for almost a year when I came home from work one day to find an envelope with my name on it laying on the kitchen table.

There were two things in the envelope. The first was a letter from Marie.

I opened the letter and read it:

Dear Paul,

We both have known that things have been rocky between us for some time now and that neither of us is happy. A few months ago I ran into Richard and we started talking. He’s really changed a lot since the divorce. When I told him I had a baby he asked me if I was sure you were the father. The truth is Paul, that when I found out I was pregnant it was easier for me to think of you as the father than Richard. I’ve been seeing Richard for months now and he has asked me to marry him. When I told him I would not risk loosing Randy he suggested I have a paternity test done. I know that the only thing keeping us together is Randy and that you will never leave me. As you can see from the results, you are not Randy’s father, Richard is. So now there is no reason for you to stay with me anymore. I have taken Randy with me so don’t worry about him and please don’t try to find us.

I know you will never forgive me but perhaps time will ease the pain.


The other item in the envelope was a copy of the paternity test showing Richard to be the father.

Chapter Two – “The Job Offer”

I had been out of work for three months after I had, politely, told my boss that he could take the lousy three percent cost of living increase he had given me and use it to buy a tube of “Preparation H” since he obviously was in need of something to relieve the pain his tight ass must be giving him and, that was about all you could buy with such a tiny amount.

I was laying on the couch in my living room evaluating job prospects, which sucked, and was trying to decide if I should set up a Meth Lab in the basement or apply for a Manager’s position at the local Captain D’s.

After I looked at my checkbook and saw that my account was almost empty, I decided that the Meth Lab thing was out, as I couldn’t afford the start-up cost.

I was about to start filling out the Captain D’s application I had picked up when my phone rang bringing a welcome delay from entry into the world of Fish, Fries, and Fritters.

I picked up the phone to hear the naturally sultry voice Gerri, my ex-wife’s sister. “Hey, Stud.” she said in an overtly sexy manner.

“Hey, Porn Star.” I answered back.

It was a little game we used to play before I married her sister. After I got married we both stopped our playful teasing and I didn’t see much of her except on holidays and family occasions.

“Still need a job?” she asked; then added, “Or are the ladies paying you enough?”

“Yup, still need a job.” I answered. “Can’t make any money till this clap is gone.” She laughed.

“How’s five thousand dollars for a weeks work sound to you?” Her sultry voice said.

“Great! Who do I have to screw?” I said deciding to play along with her little joke.

She paused a second; and then said, “Seriously, I need some help inventorying an estate that’s about to be auctioned. The place is out in the boonies and I don’t like the idea of being there by myself.”

“I’d love to Gerri, but I don’t know anything about art. Hell, I even flunked finger-painting in Kindergarten.” I told her, hating to have to pass up the chance to make some real money.

“Don’t worry about that. It will be easy, all you have to do is write down what I tell you.” she said. “Besides, you really would be helping me out. I really need someone I can trust to go along with me.”

She went on to explain that the estate she had to inventory was an old country manor far removed from the city and that it would be easier not to have to drive the five hour trip to and from the estate each day. Further, that she made arrangements with the executor for her and an assistant to stay at the mansion for the week that it would take to inventory everything.

“Well?” she asked. “Will you help me Paul?” Then added, “Please?

Happy to finally have some money coming in I answered her, “Sure. Anything for my favorite centerfold.” She laughed and said she would pick me up at 5:00 the following morning.

Hearing her voice reminded me how much I enjoyed her company and missed hanging out with her.

Chapter Three – “The Great Lie”

After Gerri called me, it occurred to me that it seemed like a good idea to tell my landlady, Mrs. Wiseman, about the job offer. By then, I was already a week late with my rent and I didn’t want to come back and find my things on the street. I asked her if she could wait one more week until I got back for the rent. After I told her that I would be able to pay her the next four months rent when I got back, she quickly agreed.

I packed my backpack, ate a TV dinner, put out what trash I had, and went to bed so I could get and early start in the morning.

When I got up the next morning, I showered, toasted a bagel and then went outside to wait for Gerri. I was sitting on my backpack and hadn’t been waiting long when she pulled up.

She smiled, rolled down the passenger window, leaned over toward it, and said, “Hey, lover boy know where a girl can get lucky around here?”

“How much you got baby?” I said playing the game.

“Five dollars cold hard cash.” she said.

“Sorry lady, I only have three bucks change and don’t want to take advantage of you.” She giggled when I said that, then she came back with, “OK, you can keep the change but you better be worth it.”

We were both laughing when I got in the car, backpack in hand.

We spent the next couple of hours catching up on old times. We talked about what she had been doing, what I had been doing, and our mutual friends.

It had been so long since I last saw Gerri that I had forgotten how beautiful she truly was. While she does not have “The Face That Launched A Thousand Ships” she is extremely cute. She is only two inches shorter than I am but has full firm breasts that are only slightly larger than a woman of her statue. Her bottom is round and ample but not large and her hips curvy in just the right places. Her legs are just a bit muscular, probably from the constant working out that she does. But her true beauty lay in the part of her that is not physical but in her very soul, for no more a compassionate and caring woman will you ever meet. I couldn’t help but curse myself for the fool I was in letting her slip through my grasp.

We had several more hours to drive and decided to stop and get something to eat from the vending machines at a rest top along the road.

It started raining just as we started to eat so we hastily grabbed our food and ran to the car. It was raining heavily when we finished our lunch so we decided to wait a little for it to die down before hitting the road again.

“How are you really doing Paul?” she asked seriously.

I thought about it a second and then said, “I’m OK. I’ll make it.”

“I’m glad.” she said and then added, “What Marie did to you wasn’t right.”

“It was my fault; I should have been a better husband for her.” I told her.

“That’s bullshit Paul and you know it. She used you.” she said with anger in her voice. Then added, “You were a better husband than she deserved.”

“Still, if I hadn’t been so drunk and slept with her none of this would have happened; she wouldn’t have thought I was the father.” I retorted.

As she stared at me in shock she said, “Shit Paul! She never told you?”

“Told me what?” I asked puzzled.

“You didn’t sleep with her. You were too drunk that night. She knew all along that Randy was not yours.” Gerri told me.

I couldn’t believe my ears.

“But how?” I asked confused.

“Because she was already pregnant!” Then, she paused a second and continued, “After she left you she called to tell me about it. I told her she was a heartless bitch and made her promise to tell you the truth. I swear, I thought she had already told you. That’s why I didn’t tell you about it myself after she told me.” she said in disgust. “She knew Richard was the father from the very beginning. She just didn’t want anything to do with him. Hell, if it’s any body’s fault it’s mine!”

How the hell can it be your fault? I thought.

Almost as if she had read my mind she said, “I told her that you would be a great catch if you ever settled down and that I thought all you needed was someone else to care for to motivate you.”

We both sat in silence and I thought about what she said for a several minutes.

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t make her do what she did. And you didn’t make me drink either. But you were right about one thing. I did need someone to care for to settle me down. At least some good came out of it.” With that, the rain slowed down and after a pit stop to the rest rooms we were on the road again.

I sat there, her words echoing in my mind. I realized I had been blaming myself for my mistakes. First I had been blaming myself for getting too drunk that night. Second, I had been blaming myself for being to blind not to see that Maria had been running around on me. But worst of all, I had been blaming myself for the opportunity I had lost with Gerri and I felt I would never have that opportunity again. How could she possibly respect me after how I had fucked up my life so badly? I thought.

The rain had stopped, the sun had come out but I could not see any golden rays of sunshine in my future.

I had fallen asleep when I heard Gerri’s angelic voice calling me, “Wake up Paul. We’re here”.

And there we were.

Chapter Four – “The House of Pleasure”

The sun was beginning to fall as I got out of the car. I was immediately stricken buy the powerful beauty of the former home of the eccentric millionaire, Herbert H. Williams III and his three wives.

It was not the vines with their dark earthen red leaves covering the huge stone walls of the mansion nor was it the powerful large oak beams supporting the structure that gave it its powerful beauty, but instead it was the golden beams of sunlight that sparkled in a rainbow of bejeweled colors in all directions as they reflected from the many windows of the mansion.

And windows they were, so large as to dwarf a giant. Each window was comprised of six separate panes of glass in two rows of three per window all held within a beautiful oak frame.

We both just stood there overwhelmed and we could almost hear the symphony created by the beams of light as they reflected from the windows onto the water and stone of the fountain in wave after wave of brilliant color.

The clouds to had followed us bringing rain moved in blocking the sunlight. The moment of beauty was lost so we walked to the door to enter this strange and wonderful place we had come to.

Tired from our trip we spent the rest of the day touring the place.

From cellar to attic, in every room we went there was erotic art and sculptures.

The house had three bedrooms downstairs for the staff, and six bedrooms upstairs for the residents and guest. With the exception of the erotic paintings, statues and other oddities and some modern conveniences that were everywhere you went from bedrooms to bath, the house was decorated primarily in the motif of a 19th century English estate.

Each bedroom had a large gas fireplace and custom-made bed that measured 10 by 10 feet in size.

Adjoining each bedroom was a large dressing room and a bathroom with connecting doors. There was a door at the back of each dressing room that led to a twenty by twenty foot walk in closet.

All the bathrooms upstairs had three sinks complete with mirrors; a large six-foot by six foot walk-in shower with clear glass doors. Each tub was large enough to hold four adults in total comfort. All the bedrooms in the house had a large wooden and glass cabinet in the corner that was nearest the bed. The cabinets contained a vast variety of unique vibrators, dildos, strap-ons, anal beads, softly padded leather restraints and an assortment of other kinky items too numerous to mention here.

Also in each room were one or more pieces of furniture or equipment specifically designed for sex.

It was like the world’s most luxurious bordello and I loved it instantly.

So we would not have to drive the thirty miles it was to the nearest time just to eat, Gerri had arranged with the executor that enough food to accommodate two people for seven days would be left in the kitchen. We ate and talked, mostly discussing the manor and its unique motif. We agreed to start early the next day but not until after we had taken a second slower tour of each room. Not to size up the task, but just to see the strange and new oddities the mansion had to offer.

After we finished the tour, Gerri turned to me and said, “This is going to take longer than I thought.”

Then she took out her cell phone, called the executor and told him that it would take at least two weeks to do the inventory and then proceeded to explain just how vast the inventory actually was.

When she finished the call, she told me about it. The executor had told Gerri that he had not realized how much was there. Apparently, he had never actually been to the house. She said that could take all the time she needed and that he would arrange to have whatever she needed delivered in two days.

“Well, that’s done.” she said to me. “Why don’t we start at the bottom and work our way up?”

“You’re the boss lady. You point, I click.” I said to her twirling the stylus from my tablet PC.

Chapter Five – “Unexpected Visitors”

One of the first things we found out was that the place had not been dusted in a while and every so often Gerri would sneeze violently. Apparently Gerri and dust don’t like each other.

We spent the next six days inventorying the art and oddities. All the while we were making comments to each other sometimes referencing the art and sometimes referencing the furniture we saw. We would say things like, “I wonder how they got into that position in the first place.” or “Wouldn’t it slip out?” But sometimes we would just comment, “Isn’t that beautiful?”

I didn’t know about Gerri but after seeing all the erotica everywhere was beginning to have its effect on me. The sound of Gerri’s naturally seductive voice as she spoke only helped to make matters worse. After seven days of walking around constantly with a raging hard-on, I started looking forward to the chance to take a cold shower when each day was over.

I was going to take a shower but decided to wait when I heard the one in the next room running. I realized Gerri have beaten me to it. We both learned the first night there not to use our showers at the same time because the water pressure dropped dramatically when we did.

As I lay on my bed waiting for the sound of the shower to stop, telling me that Gerri was finished, my mind wandered to thoughts of Gerri slowly running her hands over her wet nude body. No doubt about it, I thought, it’s cold water for me tonight.

I took a cold shower, dried off and slipped under the covers of my bed to retire for the night.

I had just dozed off to sleep when a female voice awakened me saying, “Wake Up.”

At first I thought it was Gerri but when I opened my eyes the light on the nightstand went on. There standing next to the nightstand was indeed a woman pulling a leather glove covered her hand away from the lamp’s switch. But it was not Gerri!

The woman, a buxom full figured brunet with long wavy hair, was dressed in a gray jumpsuit and was wearing a cheap plastic Lone Ranger mask. What really bothered me was that she was pointing the pistol she was holding in her other leather glove covered hands right at my groin.

“Who are you?” she said.

“Who are you?” I asked back.

“I have the gun. I’m asking the questions. Now, who the hell are you?” she demanded.

“Were here to inventory everything for the auction.” I said. Then I added, “And you are?”

“Robbing the place!” she said casually. Then said accusingly, “You were supposed to be gone two days ago!”

“It’s taking longer than we thought.” I told her.

“Oh well, guess we’ll have to improvise.” she said. Backing up she said, while still pointing her pistol at me, “Let’s go.”

As I grabbed my robe and pulled it around my naked body she looked me up and down and said, “If only I weren’t busy working right now…”

She made me go downstairs into what Gerri and I had started calling the “Play Room”. We call it that mostly because it had the largest assortment of sex toys in the house. Some were the strangest sex machines either of us had ever seen. Some were designed for one person, some for two people. Mounted on one wall of the room was a large screen television, below that was an entertainment center with a DVD player. The rest of the entire wall was filled with shelf upon shelf of pornographic DVD movies.

“Sit down and keep quiet!” she told me when we walked into the room.

I had just sat down on a love seat when I saw Gerri get pushed through the door by a man also in a gray jumpsuit and cheap plastic Lone Ranger mask. But it was Gerri that caught my attention, for she was wearing a Red satin Victoria Secrets robe had a neckline that plunged deeply in the front and barely covered her ass. Damn she looked hot!

“Anyone else?” the female robber asked her companion.

“Nope that’s it. They’re the only two.” he replied. Then added, “Remind me to tell Mr. Green that his Intel sucks.”

Annoyed she looked and said, “No sense crying over spilt milk. Now, be quiet and keep them covered while I figure out what to do with them.”

She walked around the room looking at all the various machines and furniture then stopped at one that looked kind of like a “seesaw” but much wider, stood there and read the plaque on it for several minutes. Then she looked over at the cabinets full of sex toys and paraphernalia and smiled as though an idea had occurred to her. This did not make Gerri or I comfortable at all.

“OK” she began, “I’m only going to say this once. Keep your mouths shut. That means I don’t even what to hear a fart out of you. Do exactly what you are told, when you are told and how you are told and I promise you wont get hurt. If you can’t you will end up looking like a Picasso painting when we are done with you. Am I clear?”

We both nodded.

Then she went over to one of the cabinets and opened it. She took one of the large “industrial” size tubes of “K Y” Jelly that was in the cabinet out.

When she did, I saw Gerri suddenly get a very frightened look on her face and, disregarding the robber’s instructions, asked with a panic sound in her voice, “What are you going to do with that?”

“Oh?” the female robber said in an almost consoling voice. “It won’t hurt; it’s just to make sure you don’t try too hard to get out of these.”

Then, she held up her other hand, which held several pairs of fur padded leather restraints. Each pair consisted of two heavy leather straps with a fur inner lining and they were attached to each other by a three-inch chain. Each strap had a buckle fastener used to secure it to the wearer.

She set the restraints down next to the “Sex-seesaw” and then went back to the cabinet and got a package containing a pair of rubber gloves.

Seeing this, Gerri said to me in horror, “Paul she’s not going to…”

But, the female robber stopped her and in mid sentence, and said, “Don’t worry. Your cute little ass is safe.” Then looked at me and said, “So is yours lover boy. Now be quiet I am trying to work here!”

I looked at Gerri and I could tell she was as confused as I was.

The female felon opened the pack of rubber gloves, took off one of her leather gloves and put one of the rubber gloves on her bare hand, then she opened the tube of “K Y” Jelly and squeezed it emptying the entire tube onto the seat of the “Sex-seesaw”. Then she used her rubber-gloved hand to spread the jelly onto the rubberized surface of the seat until it was completely covered with jelly.

The female robber removed the rubber glove she was wearing. She walked over to the cabinet again and retrieved another pair of robber gloves. She removed her remaining glove and placed it in one of her pockets. She opened the package containing the fresh pair of rubber gloves and put them on, walked back to where Gerri and I were standing and said, “OK lovers, get naked!”

“You’re not really going to make us get on that thing are you?” I protested.

Pointing to her companion she answered, “That gun he has says I am! Want to argue with it?”

Looking hesitantly at the now lubricated device, Gerri and I removed our respective robes.

Before I continue I think it would be best if I described the “Sex-seesaw” to you.

The “Sex-seesaw” is a device that actually looked very much like a seesaw in basic appearance except for the addition of padded guardrails and a motorized piston at one end.

There was an L-shaped steel rod that locked the board in place and kept it from moving.

Here is what the plaque on the thing said:

“As the two people on the “Sex-seesaw” start rocking or moving, the free weight will begin to slide down the bar in the direction of their movement. Eventually the movement will be great enough to cause the board to make contact with one of the two contact switches located on the left spring under each side of the board causing the piston to engage. Once the piston is engaged it will begin moving the board up and down for ten minutes before returning the board to a level position and beginning a two minute cool down period. There is a safety switch located in the center of each side of the board that can be pressed to turn the machine off in an emergency or stop it as needed. For safety reasons, please keep your arms and legs within the confines of the guardrails when using the “Sex-seesaw”. This product is not recommended for persons who are subject to motion sickness and persons having medical conditions which may preclude them from engaging safely in sexual activity. Please consult your physician before using this product to ensure that you are healthy enough for sexual activity before using the “Sex-seesaw”. The “Sex-seesaw” is not a toy. Keep children away from this device at all times.” The manufacturer of the “Sex-seesaw” assumes no responsibility for any damages resulting from the use or misuse of this product.”

She lowered the guardrail and said to me, “Hop up lover boy.” I stepped over to the device and carefully sat on it leaving my legs hanging over the edge of the board.

“Legs too smart-ass!” she said forcefully.

So I pulled my legs onto the board and sat there holding onto the guardrail trying to balance my self with my now “K Y” jelly coated hands.

Then she turned to Gerri and said, “Mount up Sweetie!”

“What?” Gerri gasped.

“You heard me. Get on top of him!” The female robber said. Then went over close enough to Gerri so as to whisper in her ear and said quietly but still loud enough to be heard, “Come on, you know you’ve been dieing to get this close to him.” Gerri flushed and turned red.

After receiving a loud smack on her ass from the female robber, Gerri came over still rubbing her butt from the sting and tried to climb on top of me. Now that both of her legs were on mine, she was having a lot of difficulty holding herself up because her hands were also coated with “K Y” Jelly. But every time she tried to pull herself up her hands and knees would slip in the “K Y” Jelly causing her pubis to slide right into my crotch making her pussy lips lightly rub up against my dick.

The female robber looked at the situation we were in and said, “This will never work.”

I tried to think of something to take my mind off of Gerri’s oh so close and warm pussy. First, I tried to think about dead pigeons, but that got me thinking about what pigeons ate…worms. Nope, that was no good. Then I tried thinking about food things like fruit but melons reminded me of her gorgeous tits. So I switched to bananas but they just brought me back to my awakening prick.

I had started working through the vegetable group and had just gotten an all to clear picture of a cucumber in my mind when I heard a the voice of the female thief saying, “Snap out of it lover boy. I said put your left leg under her right leg.”

I did so, actually welcoming the distraction of her voice.

Then she turned to Gerri and said; “Now you do the same with your other leg. Put it under his.”

This was bad. This was very bad. Because, now each time she tried to pull herself up when she slipped and slid her pussy ground right into my pelvis.

Satisfied with our position, the felonious female picked up two pairs of restraints and said to us, “Aren’t you just dieing to hold each other? Why don’t you give each other a lover’s embrace?”

“Huh?” I said questioningly.

“Put one arm over her shoulder and the other arm under her armpit” she explained to me. Then said to Gerri, “You do the same Sweetie.”

“We can’t damn it. It’s too damn slippery on this thing.” Gerri yelled at her in frustration as she slipped backwards once again pushing her pubis into my crotch.

The full figured felon was about to say something when she paused a minute considering the situation. She must have realized that Gerri was telling her the truth because she said to Gerri, “Well, hell!”

Then, put both of her hands on Gerri’s back and pushed Gerri toward me saying, “Grab her lover boy.”

I did and a second later Gerri and I were holding each other exactly as instructed.

The buxom felon then quickly used a pair of restraints to secure my hands together then, she used another pair of restraints to secure Gerri’s hands together.

Then she did the same thing to our legs.

Gerri and I were now literally locked in a very intimate embrace. When she was finished her companion chuckled and lowered his pistol.

“There now, isn’t that romantic?” she said but received no answer. Then she said, “Now, if you stay very still no Hide-the-salami, but if you get bored just pretend you are 12 again at your favorite playground and start rocking.”

Murder in her eyes, Gerri said, “Bitch!”

“Now that really hurt” began the curvy felon, “and after I went to all this trouble to get you two together. Well, just so you won’t think that I am totally heartless I will even turn the TV on so you won’t be bored while we’re gone.”

She then went to the wall and looked at the titles for a second and after she picked out a DVD, turned on the TV, put the DVD in the player and pushed play.

The movie started playing.

Chapter Six – “A Ride To Heaven”

She looked at the screen for a moment then said to us, “Oh, this is a good one. Lots of sucking and fucking; it makes me wet just thinking about it.” She looked at me and said, “You’ll like this one lover boy, there’s a nice hot little thing that looks just like your girlfriend in it and she gives the sweetest little blowjobs you’ve ever seen.”

My dick twitched when she said that and Gerri looked right at me.

“We are going to leave you now and do a little house cleaning; if you are still hear when we get back” she chuckled, “I will undo one of your hands Sweetie. By the time you are free we should be several miles away. By the way, well leave your cell phone and distributor cap ten miles down the road.”

With that, she removed the bar holding the board motionless, turned and left the room with us there in each other’s arms.

Sounds of moaning started coming from the TV. For a second I saw Gerri glance at the screen. I looked to see what she had been looking at. There on the screen was the girl the female thief had described slowly twirling her tongue around the head of some guy’s prick.

“Paul!” Gerri said to me, and I turned to look at her. “We’ve got to put that damn movie out of our minds and stay perfectly still.”

When I realized that she hadn’t said that I had to put that movie out of my mind, I suspected that the combination of us being in this position and the movie must have been having the same effect on her. My suspicions were confirmed when I noticed her hard nipples pressing into my chest.

When I felt my growing dick touch her pussy lips I looked at her and said, “I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s been so long since I… well you know and that damn movie over there is so… and your are so…”

“I know but we’ve got to try!” she said in desperation as I felt warm fluid trickle down onto the head of my prick.

It must have come from her pussy, I thought and my dick began to swell even more.

Then she said to me as my cock-head touched the mouth of her warm wet pussy, “OH MY GOD IT’S GOING IN ME PAUL!”

She jerked a bit at the pressure from my dick on her pussy and the “Sex-seesaw” slowly started moving down on my side pushing the head of my prick almost fully into her. Then the board just teetered in its position.

I felt her open her legs slightly so she could pull her ankles toward me in an attempt to shift the center of gravity back to level. It might have worked if at the same time she had not clinched up and tightened her hold on me making my dick grow again pushing another half inch into her.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“I’m…” she clinched tighter. “I’m going to…” she clinched again and her body reacted to my slowly entering penis causing it to grow again.

“You’re going to what?” I asked in panic.

“SNEEZE!” she yelled and then did.

Suddenly my end went down all the way causing her to slide forward towards me and her pussy fell onto my dick burring half of it into her.

“OHHH FUCKKK!” she cried out in surprise.

“Click” we both heard and we each tensed up.

As my end of the board was raised and we were both sliding downward uncontrollably on the rubber-covered board. The board stopped suddenly and when it did I was pushed hilt deep into her soaking wet pussy.

“FUCKKK!” she screamed and I felt her pussy spasm on me.

“Click” again and her end of the board was raised. My dick came out of her halfway as we slid downward again only to once again have her pussy completely envelop me with its warm velvety insides.

“OHHH SHITTT!” she said and buried her face into my shoulder.

“OHHH NO!” she said as she heard the click again as her end of the board was lowered. As we started sliding again down toward her end she was pulled off of me halfway.

As the board, once again, came to a sudden stop I was buried again into her into the hilt, her voice sang into my ear, “SOOO DEEP!” and I felt her open mouth on my neck.

“Click.” As her end of the board raised, sending her sliding wet pussy downward to be speared by my waiting prick, she used my shoulder to muffle her moan.

She was lowered again only to fall once more in rapture as her burning pussy was impaled by my driving prick.

The machine was now sending us both toward orgasm as it continued to raise and lower our now yearning bodies.

Again and again, we rose and fell captured in the embrace of each other’s bodies, each journey seeming better than the last.

“I’M GOING TO CUMMM!” she said as she was falling. As I felt her insides envelope me once more I knew my own orgasm was also near. Then she breathed a silent scream into my ear.

She rose one last time. As we fell, my cock seemed to be buried deeper into her than ever before causing her orgasm to hit her.

“AHHHEEE!” she screamed, her body in total rapture. When she did, the feeling of her quivering pussy flowing juices on my cock as she spasmed sent me beyond the point of no return and I pulled her to me harder as my body was hit by wave after wave of orgasm sending my seed pulsing into her.

There was one last “Click” as the board returned to level and stopped.

We had been sitting there panting for a few seconds, neither of us knowing what to say, when she looked up at me and as our eyes met for the first time in a long time. I was waiting for her to speak and then she said everything I wanted to know when she put her mouth on mine and kissed me passionately.

Her mouth was on mine, our tongues intertwined when we heard the click again starting another ride to bliss.

Chapter Seven – “The Return”

The robbers returned to find Gerri showering my neck with kisses as she repeated over and over “Bitch, Bitch, Bitch”.

Our personal matchmaker, and part time art thief, laughed as she undid Gerri’s bonds. I couldn’t help but smile at her as she walked out the door.


“You know” Gerri said to me after the police left, “It’s a shame to see all this broken up and sold. I do believe I have come to love this house.”

“So do I.” I said. Then added, “But I can’t afford it.”

“I can!” she said to me. I was shocked.

“But I thought the gallery brought in just enough money for you to live comfortably on.” I said confused.

Then she surprised me by saying, “Yes that’s true. But I have enough money in the bank to buy this place lock, stock and barrel.”

“But how?” I asked.

“Well, the art gallery was robbed by a couple of thieves six months ago. They got away with several very expensive pieces. I had the pieces insured for twenty-five million dollars.” Then she added, “After the robbery I talked to Mandy one of the owners of the sex-toy shop next door. She and her husband were in their store when the gallery was robbed. It turns out that they were both tied up so they couldn’t warn the police until after they had made their get away. I didn’t think anything about it at the time but she was smiling the whole time she told me about it. One more thing, she said there was one thing she would never forget about them; they both wore cheap plastic Lone Ranger masks.” Then she said, “I think I will buy this place.”

“Buy the way” she said to me, “how would you like a permanent position?”

“Which one did you have in mind?” I kidded her.

“Partner!” she said as her beautiful eyes looked into mine.

“Are you…?” I asked.

“Well, a girl can’t wait for ever you know for the man she loves to ask her to marry him.” She said in that sultry voice of hers.

I took her in my arms and kissed her passionately and whispered, “Yes my beautiful little Porn Star.”

When we had broken our kiss she turned to me and said, “One thing though, I think we should get an alarm system installed.”

“Absolutely!” I agreed. Then I added, “No telling what kinky machine they would strap us into if they ever came back.”

And we both laughed.

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