The MatchMaker Bandits – The Great Art Gallery Robbery

Author: Maximillian Excaliber

The Great Art Gallery Robbery
By Maximillian Excaliber

Chapter One – “I Quit!”

Jerry and Mandy had known each other since college. To split their expenses, they had shared an apartment together while they were in college but their relationship had always been platonic.

After college, it just seemed financially convenient to continue to share the apartment while they both worked various jobs trying to pay off their considerable student loan debt.

Despite the fact that they had been living together five years after they graduated, their relationship was still platonic and they were close but good friends.

Each had dated other people never seeming to find anyone they liked enough for more than a one-night stand. Neither wanted to jeopardize their friendship by becoming intimate, not that each had not thought about it.

Mandy, whose face was average in appearance, had long blond hair, a very shapely ass and nice firm breasts that would have made a Playboy Bunny envious. They definitely got Jerry’s attention whenever she was not wearing a bra. Which was usually most of the time she was not working.

Jerry had a slightly better than average face, but the average body of a man who worked in an office all the time and never seemed to have enough time to work out. He was not overweight; he was just too unremarkable in any way except one; he had the most beautiful brown eyes that when a woman noticed them she became lost in them.

They had both come to value other’s friendship too much to jeopardize it. Each was afraid that if they became intimate it would be the end of their relationship.

As time progressed, both Jerry and Mandy were silently aware that it was becoming increasingly difficult to restrain their ever-growing attraction to the other.

One day, after an especially bad day at work, Jerry walked into the apartment and flopped down on his favorite chair. His face was fuming with anger. Mandy, who had the day off from her job as a software programmer for a local bank, was sitting on the couch reading a book. She looked up at him worried, as she had never seen the usually calm Jerry this angry before and asked, “What’s the matter, Jerry?”

“Those son-of-a-bitchs are outsourcing the Database Team, and after that the Desktop Support Team. It wont be long before someone figures out how to outsource Network Administration.” Being a well-paid Network Administrator, the last part was sure to leave Jerry without a job.

She thought about it for a minute and then, putting down the book she had been reading, said to him, “Look Jerry, why don’t we go into business together? I’m tired of working for other people and watching them get rich off of my hard work. I’ll bet we’ve got enough money between the two of us. What do you think?”

They had both been saving their money for the five years since they had finished college. Both of them had finished paying off the student loan debts about two years ago and each had been banking every spare penny they made in anticipation of settling down someday.

He thought about it for a couple of seconds; then said, “Sure, why not!”

Between the two of them, they had accumulated quite a sum of money between the two of them. And so, for a couple of weeks each independently searched the Internet looking for a business model that they could both afford but would have a good chance of succeeding.

Finally, one afternoon, they sat down together to discuss what they had discovered.

They looked at each other hesitantly; then, almost in unison they both said, “Let’s go into the sex toy business.” Then they each laughed.

They were both pleasantly surprised and happy that neither was shocked at the other’s idea. But after all, how could they be? They both had the same idea. And so they decided to become entrepreneurs in the sex toy business.

Chapter Two – “Stocking The Store”

They spent the next two months occupied with the tasks of finding a store to rent, buying advertisements, setting up a website, and ordering stock, plus a myriad of other tasks that starting a new business requires.

It was a Friday night and they were working late unpacking, stocking and placing on displays a huge selection of assorted dildos, vibrators, adult DVD’s and other items to numerous to mention. While neither said anything to the other, they were each intrigued by the sheer variety and potential uses for the erotic merchandise they were handling. Being surrounded by all that erotic material only served to remind them that it had been quite some time since they had shared the intimacy of another person. And so, as the night progressed, they were each becoming very horny.

Jerry had just finished stocking one of the DVD racks and was hoping Mandy would not notice the erection he had been sporting for the past several hours. He heard a truck pull up in the alley leading to the back door of their store. He turned to Mandy and said, “Nobody delivers this late.”

Mandy turned to him and said, “Maybe it’s the garbage pickup, they run about this time don’t they?”

“Damn, you’re right! I completely forgot. Help me get these empty boxes out back before they pull off or the damn things will be in our way all weekend, will you?” he exclaimed.

She put down a rabbit vibrator, grabbed a hand full of the flattened boxes, and followed him into the back of the store.

When they got there, they did not find a garbage truck as they had expected. Instead, parked, its rolling back door open was what appeared to be a medium sized rental truck.

“Turn around slowly and don’t do anything stupid!” They heard a man’s voice say from behind them.

When they did, they saw a man and woman standing in the corner of the alley near the door through which they had just come. The strangers were both dressed in white overalls similar to those used by a local moving company. Each stranger also was wearing a cheap plastic Lone Ranger masks on their faces. The masks were simular to those you might buy for Halloween. But most importantly, the strangers were holding pistols aimed directly at Jerry and Mandy. The woman was holding a canvas bag similar to that used by carpenters to carry their tools.

“Walk inside, both of you and don’t say a word.” the man told them pointing his pistol in the direction of the door.

After they were all inside the man closed the door behind them.

“OK, here’s the way its going to be, we are going to help ourselves to some of the paintings that the art store next door has been kind enough to collect for us so we are going to be here for a couple of hours. Behave yourselves and nobody will get hurt; don’t, and well, I think you get the picture.” He said aiming his pistol directly at Jerry’s head.

His companion had set the canvas bag down and was walking around the store while the male robber was talking to them.

“Over here Mr. Black! This will do fine.” she said.

She walked over to cover them while her companion walked into the storage room and looked around.

“Yup, Mrs. White, this is perfect. OK, bring them in here.” he told her.

Somehow, Jerry suspected the Mr. Black and Mrs. White were not their real names.

Mrs. White picked up her bang and followed Jerry and Mandy as they walked into the closet.

She then opened the bag and lay several links of chain and several combination locks onto the carpeted floor, then turned to them and said, “The art gallery next door has kindly collected some rather kinky paintings for us. Wasn’t that so kind of them? ” Mr. Black chuckled. She continued, “We can’t have you nice people calling the police while we are next door helping removing their excess inventory; it would just spoil our night. And, we are going to be too busy to watch you.” Mandy looked at Jerry with terror on her face as the female stranger continued, “Don’t worry, play nice and we won’t hurt you. We are just going to leave you here tied up while we work.”

“When we leave we will give you the keys to the locks, but it will take you a while to get free. Now, just so you wont be in a big hurry to escape and run to the nearest phone, strip!” She said to them. “Oh, yeah, all of your clothes please.” Jerry and Mandy stood there in shock. “Of course, if you wish, I am sure Mr. Black will be glad to help you.” She said smiling.

Mandy had taken off everything hoping no one would notice how wet her panties were and Jerry was down to his under shorts when he paused hesitating.

Mrs. White looked down at the large bulge in his underwear and said, “Go ahead, as soaked as your girlfriend’s panties are, I thing she’s going to enjoy seeing it.”

Reluctantly, Jerry pulled down his underpants and his erection sprang free pointing straight at Mandy. She stared at it for a few seconds and then turned away.

“Cover them, all these nice toys have given me an idea.” Mrs. White said to her partner in crime and left the room.

She returned about a minute later with a package containing one of those strap-on butterfly vibrators that have wired remote controls, a couple of double ” A ” batteries and a roll of packing tape.

When he saw what she had in her hands, Mr. Black snickered and said to his companion, “Playing Matchmaker again?”

“What can I say? I can’t help myself.” and with that, she put the batteries in the remote and pushed the power button causing it to make a humming sound as it vibrated in her hands. Apparently satisfied it worked she turned it off. Then she pulled off a piece of packing tape from the roll and folded it into a loop sticky side out. She took the piece of tape and stuck it to the remote to the vibrator, then handed it to Mandy and said to her, “Put it on!”

“What the hell for?” Mandy asked her shocked.

With a wicked grin on her face the female robber replied, “Well, I figure if you try too hard to wiggle out of your chains this will keep you busy. Now put it on!”

Reluctantly, Mandy slipped her legs through the elastic straps of the harness and pulled it up.

Seeing that the butterfly vibrator was hanging inches too low, the female robber handed her pistol to her partner, and said to him “Hold this.”

She then grabbed the ends of the elastic straps and tugged hard on them tightening them, which caused the vibrator to move upward. As it went up, the hook shaped soft rubber clit stimulator at the bottom of the vibrator slid right through Mandy’s wet pussy lips lodging itself firmly between them and came to rest on the bottom of her clit. Mandy jerked in surprise as it made contact with her sensitive clit.

“Comfy?” as the female robber but received no response.

Taking her pistol back from her partner she said to Jerry, “Now lover boy, get down there on your back and keep your arms at your side.”

Jerry lay down on the six-foot long pieces of chain. There were five of them. Two pieces of chain were under the small of his back, one under his ankles, one just below his buttocks, and one was under his neck.

The female robber took the chain under his ankles and wrapped it around them and secured it with a lock.

Looking at Mandy, she said, “It’s your turn Honey now, get face down onto of your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Mandy said and started turning to lay on Jerry face first when she felt a pistol poking her in the ribs.

“Oh no you don’t, the other way!” she heard Mrs. White say.

“You’ve got to be kidding!” Mandy said shocked and turned slightly to look at the female robber.

“Do I look like I am kidding Honey?”, she responded this time poking Mandy’s left nipple with her pistol.

Mandy got on her hands and knees on top of Jerry with her pelvis over his stomach.

“Nice try Honey! Stop wasting time and do it right! You know the position! Now get your ass over his face damn it!” she said impatiently.

And so, Mandy found she was looking down at Jerry’s raging hard-on with a butterfly vibrator strapped to her clit and her wet pussy just inches away from his mouth.

Pushing Mandy’s back down until her belly was touching Jerry’s chest, Mrs. White secured the chains under the small of Jerry’s back around both of them with one of the locks while leaving no more than an half of an inch of slack in the chain. She turned the chain so Jerry could reach the lock.

Ms. White then wrapped the chain that was lying under Jerry’s neck around one of Mandy’s ankles. Then she wrapped the other end around Mandy’s other ankle and then brought the end back under Jerry’s neck and locked the two ends together with one of the unused locks.

After that, she wrapped one end of the remaining chain around Mandy’s thigh just above the knee and locked it, then did the same thing to Mandy’s other knee with the other end of the chain.

Finally, she used the last chain, the one under Jerry’s buttocks, to secure Mandy’s wrists in a similar manner. While none of the chains were tight enough to cut off the flow of blood, they left almost no room for movement.

She stood to admire her work.

The whole time she had been binding them she kept the pistol in her hand, so both Jerry and Mandy were actually relieved when she was finished.

Grabbing Jerry’s pants and shirt, she rolled them up and placed them under his head pushing his face so close to Mandy’s pussy that his nose almost touched it.

She looked at him and said, “Now isn’t that a beautiful view of your girlfriend’s warm wet pussy? Wouldn’t you like to just lick it until she comes all over your face?”

Mandy noticed Jerry’s cock twitch toward her and said, “I told you, he’s not my boyfriend!”

“One more word out of you and I will turn the vibrator on and leave it running.”, and to emphasize her point, she reached under Mandy’s pussy and pushed the power button on the vibrator. Instantly it started vibrating Mandy’s clit sending jolt after jolt of pleasure to it.

“NOOOO! NOOOO! STOP IT, TURN IT OFF!” Mandy pleaded.

Chapter Three – “Attack Of The Butterfly”

Mrs. White waited a few more seconds until Mandy’s pussy started undulating involuntarily causing pussy juice to run down her thighs to turn it off.

“Now not a peep out of either of you.” said the female robber as the two robbers closed and exited the storage room.

Mandy panted a few minutes and finally said angrily, “Damn it! I don’t care what she says. I’m not going to just lay here like this.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea Mandy; these chains are pretty tight.” Jerry warned her.

“Well, you’re not the one whose got a vibrator strapped to your pussy are you?” and with that she started trying to wiggle the chains loose.

She tried rolling her hips but that didn’t help. Next she decided to try to wiggle her ankles free by moving them in and out but that didn’t work either. Then she decided to try moving them up and down but when she pulled up with her ankles all she did was pull Jerry’s face right into her pussy causing his chin to hit the power button on the remote turning it on.

“OHHH GODDD! TURN IT OFF! JERRY, TURN IT OFF!” and once again the machine started vibrating and sent jolt after jolt to her already swollen clit.

“HOW?” he asked her.

“I DON’T CARE HOW! DO WHAT EVER YOU HAVE TO!” and then her pelvis began moving up and down and she said, “OHHH SHITTT!”

Jerry tried to use his nose to hit the power button again but she ground her pelvis again downward. This caused his face to be buried right into her pussy. Suddenly she jerked her pelvis up again running his nose right through the furrow of her pussy.

“AHHH! OHHH! IT’S TOO MUCH!” she said loudly.

“Mandy, you got to be quiet!” he said fearing the robbers threat.

“AHHH! OHHH GODDD! OHHH SHITTT!” she cried again followed by, “I CAN’T HELP IT! IT’S BEEN SO LONG!”

He was going to try again to turn off the vibrator. But, this time as he tried to move his face under her pelvis to get a better angle at the button she rotated her pelvis down and then upward causing the slider on the remote to slide upwards all the way. The machine started to vibrate at its maximum level. Almost totally out of control now, she began rubbing her pussy across his face and mouth.

“OHHH MY GODDD!” she said even louder than before and started trying to ride his face.


With her last ounce of reason, she could think of only one way to muffle the scream that was sure to happen; and so, as she felt herself about to explode in an unstoppable orgasm, she dropped her head down and sucked Jerry’s throbbing prick into her mouth and moaned loudly onto it. Her head started bobbing slightly on his prick from the motion of her undulating body as wave after way of glorious orgasm rocked her body.

Chapter Four – “Loving The Cat”

It was too much for him and he grabbed her around the waist while burring his head into her pussy, his mouth devouring it as he ran his tongue in and around the mouth of her pussy.

Her orgasm seemed to go on forever as the combination of the vibrator on her clit and Jerry’s now probing tongue in her pussy sent jolt upon jolt of pleasure through her.

She had been holding his prick in her mouth when he stuck his tongue deeply into her spasming pussy. When he did, she started moaning and bobbing more frantically on his cock as the largest wave of orgasm hit her. Her muffled scream on his dick sent him over the edge and he erupted in her mouth filling it with his load. She swallowed it as fast as she could.

Her last spasm had caused the remote to side across his chin pushing the slider back to the low setting and the vibration on her clit eased a bit.

She was coming down from the euphoria of orgasm but was feeling the slow building of another as his mouth was still on her pussy, his tongue slowly licking around its inner lips.

“UMMPH!” she said on his now semi-hard dick. “UMMPH!” she said again.

And as her pelvis started gently rubbing back and forth and around on his mouth her head began once again to gently rise and fall on his dick causing it to swell again to its full glory.

“UMMMPH! UMMMPH!” and her pelvis jerked violently across his face once more causing the slide on the remote control to move again, this time to the medium setting.

He moaned into her pussy as her rocking and bobbing motion on his dick became faster. Totally consumed by lust he began devouring her pussy more frantically than ever.

In response, her pelvis began jerking more on his mouth than before.

“UMMMPH!” she said as his tongue again entered her pussy.

She once again jerked her pelvis hard on to him causing the slider on the remote to go to maximum sending her over the edge. Her pussy spasmed and quivered on his mouth filling with it with her juiced and once again the movement of her head bobbing on him sent him over the edge.

He licked and swallowed her juices as he filled her mouth with his load once more. With the last violent spasm of her orgasm the power button on the remote hit his chin turning the pleasure machine off. He continued to lick gently around and around her pussy as they both rode the last few waves of pleasure. When they subsided, she removed her mouth from his manhood and lay her head on his leg panting. Spent, he let her waist go and lay there.

Chapter Five – “The Business Plan”

They had both lain there panting for several minutes when finally she said to him, “Why the hell didn’t we do this before?” but she already knew the answer.

After a minute he said to her softly, “You know I love you don’t you?” The added, “I’m sorry it took this for me to realize it.”

After a moment, she said to him, “I know, I love you too. But I’m not sorry a bit.”

She looked at the stock on the shelves and said, “One other thing that I have learned from this, we have an obligation to our customers to know as much about our product as possible. I think we owe it to them to test every unique item ourselves.”

“Darling, I whole heartedly agree.” he said and started kissing the inside of her left leg.

Just then the door opened and in walked Mrs. White and said whimsically, “Have fun while we were gone?” Then noticed the still wet pussy juice on Jerry’s face and said, “Guess you did.”

She then reached down and placed one set of keys in one of Jerry’s hands and another in one of Mandy’s. “Even with the keys it will take you a while to get free. Ta, Ta Lovers.” and left them.

After they heard the truck pull of, Jerry said to Mandy, “Well I guess we should get out of this contraption.”

“Not quite yet.” said Mandy, and then placed her mouth on his dick and began gently sucking as she rolled her tongue over the head.

In response, he grabbed her once more about the waste, pushed his face to her pussy and bumped the remote power button with his chin turning it on and then started devouring her still swollen pussy with his mouth.


Several hours later the police were called. When they arrived, the police found that the captives were unable to give an accurate description of the robbers that had gotten away with quite a few of the paintings the belonged to the gallery next-door. What the report failed to mention was that during their search, they found a rather large assortment of unpackaged sex toys lying about on the floor. Aint love grand?

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